Sue Ellen's Journal

eye update
Today we made big progress. Well, about 9 last night my left eye finally opened on it's own for a while. It could stay open this morning for minutes at a time, provided I stuck to the more dimly lit parts of the house. Sharon took me over to Doctor D. He needed the anisthetic drops to get me to keep my eye open long enough to look in there. The cut shrunk by half so this was good news. I found out the nevenic or however you spell that was a steroidthat's probaly why this scar is shrinking fast as llightning and the swelling is going down so fast. The pain is still there but down to a dull roar. Dr. D who I saw I'm still carrying a low level headache too.

Dr. D. says as long as there is a scar there it will hurt. He promises that tomorrow will be better than today. Today I could keep my eyes open so maybe tomorrow will be the day there's no pain. I can hope anyway. I go back to see Dr. G tomorrow before my appointment with Dr. Leslie. That is going to be one crowded as Heck day. . Lots of time in doctor waiting rooms. Thank God for health insurance.

I did get to read some of Godplayer today. I really hate this character Thomas. I really hope something happens to him he's such a major butt. And the way he treats Kassandra, it's just so rude. But I can read more about this while I watch Eleventh Hour which should be back on now that I think this March Nonsense is finally over. I think we're through with the whole colege baseball insanity.

Current Mood: achy
Current Music: Glen Campble Wichata Lineman

week gone to ruins
I was suppose to have a busy week worthy of another lj novel. It didn't seem to work out quite that way. Oh, it will be busy, doctor visits 3 days in one week. But I was suppose to go to a political meet and greet which it turned out no one told me it was a fundraiser and I'd be expected to part with $50 to $100 to get this candidate elected. All I wanted to part iwth was some of my time on this guy's campaign. Then maybe I could parlet that in to a job. Oh well. I was suppose to attend a self advocacy workshop but I couldn't handle bright light so I stayed home. I'll explain that in a minute. I was also suppose to help both Katharine and ginger with stuff at the 20/200 Fellowship. But I've been spending today and will spend tomorrow with Doctor G. The Eye doc.

The one thing that did go right was Mark's birthday. He was totally surprised by the German chocolate cake I had Sharon bake. I had asked her to recommend a good bakery and she recommended himself. She said she loves to cook. I also took Mark out to the Sunset Diner and we had a really fine dinner. I went to curves on Tuesday and that was good. I put back 4 pounds I thought I'd gotten rid of and that I could have lilved without.

Also Monday I had my conference with Stael. I asked for a job developer to work with me. It seems that the state at least according to her, isn't allowed to contract with places like Goodwill or Helping people succeed that will help disabled people out here find jobs as they have relationships with local companies. Appparently, on top of everything else, the counselors are suppose to do that. She said that might change if they get more money, translation, let's see how big a slice of the stimulous pie we get. She said she'll fight for me as I told her I'm really feeling abandon. But I'm not holding mmy breath. Like I said, this is Stael we're talking about.

Now to what I know you're all wanting to know about, how did I mannage to get so hurt I screwed up my week. I was cooking dinner and talking to Mark. I was getting ready to leave the room as he had on the news and I'm really trying hard not to depress myself watching it. I had just had a depressing conversation with my mother. Althimer's has claimed yet another family member. So far it's claimed all my grandmother's generation except for the two uncles that died of alcoholism, and my great grandmother and her sister both had it. So you can guess how that went. So the last thing I needed was more defeatest information to make me wonder what's the use of trying. My knee was bugging me so I was trying to levermyself up off the couch using the cocktable that we've been using as a coffee table so I could go back to the office and work on the eternal backlogue. Well, Mark started to say something to me so I turned and started to lean toward him to hear. Remember, I was moving fast. I forgot there was a picture frame that close and the corner of my eye smashed full throddle in to it. I couldn't speak for a while which scared poor Mark to death. I was finally able to tell himwhat happened and that my eye hurt and it wouldn't stop tearing. He wanted to call 911 but I told him to go get Lori before we did anything. Leaving aside the cost of taking an ambulance in and the emergency roomm and all that, I knew darn well the first things the 911 opperator would ask Mark was was there bleeding or bruising or tearing of the skin. A sighted person could better answer those questions and I knew I wasn't dying so we had the time. Lori confirmed it was just tearing and it was bruised. We called Doctor G and He advised I come in first thing this morning. Sharon came for me and she said I had quite the shiner. I couldnt open the eye. We went to Dr. G. and he put me on Nevic, (not sure about the spelling of drug names) that was for the inflamation and propsil, I think that's how it's prounounced for the antibiotic. I can feel the swelling going down but there's still some definite pain. We'll see what Dr. G's associate Dr. D. has to say about things. If the pain isn't much better I may ask for something stronger for the pain. It's also encouraging I can keep my ey fully open for a minute at a time and can partly let it open wider. I guess I'll just have to be patient.

Friday I have an appointment with Doctor Leslie for an over all physical. So looks like this week's gone to the doctors. Thank God for Sharon being around.

Well, It's off to read more about the Dark Horse James A. Garfield and his election to be president of this country. Conventions were so much more entertaining back then. You know the interesting thing about Garfield, he really didn't want the job.

Current Mood: sore
Current Music: Shooting Star by Pat Benitar

stuff
For lack of a better subject. I've been having such a productive week. I guess I owe a bit of a thanks to[Bad username: Imafarmgirl/] for the kick in the rumpis. I may have been pissed at the time but it got me thinking harder outside the box and sometimes a good swift one is what we need when we get too dragged down in the quagmyre of hopelessness. I'm still going after therapy to help me with what I'm fairly sure is a big fat case of failurephobia. Apparently, Ai haven't succeeded as well as I thought I did at beating it as it's still very much lirking around.

I'm sure part of it is I'm looking at my age verses my bank account and my workable years and that's kind of scary. At anyrate, I'm going to get some help with that. I've generally known when It's time to call in the cavelary. But things are going and they are starting to go right which does create a lot of confidence.

It all started Sunday when i learned I had won a contest one a book list I'm on. I voted for my favorite children's book. My name was drawn and I won an 8 gig memory card. Just what I wanted, another place to move more of my books from my hard drive to. The next day I made calls and I may well be on my way to starting and ACB chapter out here. Sunday night I had been thinking after that email, really thinking out of the box and I decided to talk to my cousin about what she does working as a companion for an elderly woman. That seemed like something I could do and really be good at. I was always the one who had to be seriously pushed to go out and play at my grandmother's because it was much more interesting sitting listening to her stories about how things use to be and how they use to do things. I still love if I'mm with a group of much older folks, to just sit quietly and listen to their stories. I talked to a friend who is a vr worker. I callher my long distance counselor becse she's done more for me than whoever my local counselors happen to be. She told me that she has placed consumers in this field and as homemakers, doing some light housework. Hey, I can run a vaccuume and dust and swish and swipe with the best of them. I can make a bed like nobody's business. Mrs. O'hara at Perkins School saw to that. I'd much rather do physical work than brain work any day of the week. lol I sent a not to my cousin to see what advice she can give. And then I started working the phone off of one lead in Orlando, I kept backtracking till I found an agency here. I talked with that place today and I found out I meet most of the requirements and the only thing is, I'm lacking one thing which I will need if I want to register with their agency. It's something I should have considered might be a requirement. They want you to produce a note from a doctor saying they've done a physical and they certify you are free of any communicable diseases, $24 for a background check which I know I will ace and to be certified for CPR. That's the one I don't have yet. That through me a bit because I just couldn't get the hang of it when I tried to learn in High School and part of our grade for health was to become CPR certified. The teacher ended up waving the requirement and having me write a story about something else we covered. I chose to write about the evils of drugs. Me who advocates the legalization of marijuanna, go figure. Anyway, I couldn't seem to blow enough air or to compress hard enough and I definitely couldn't put it all together. But maybe as an adult, and maybe being taught by someone with a bit more experience than just a health ed instructor back in the 80s when not a lot of people were teaching it anyway, I think I took my class in 1980, maybe that will make a difference. My next goal is to find out when the Red Cross offers it's next class. Question, to disclose or not disclose my blindness when I register, if they know they might be better able to figure out the best way to instruct me. I know I'll have to lay out some dowe for this class but i view it as an investment, like getting dsl, it's an investment in my career.

Today I also signed up for an account with www.gettinghired.com this site I already have questions about as jaws 7 here at the fellowship didn't play well at all with it. I hope jaws ten plays better, otherwise, they have some questions to answer about being a site that claims to be specifically set up for the disabled. I mean hey, the blind are disabled too right and if the site doesn't work with screenreaders then it's not accessible to all the disabled. We'll see, I need to edit some stuff in my profile.

I'm over here helping Ginger at the fellowship, I made all the eye openers called. That worked out well. Keeping the number's straight in my head was the biggest pain til I realized I could dial in the numbers as xl read the field but not hit the send to make it dial until I had taken off the headphones for the computer. If I had a set up like that, where all I had to use the computer for was to dial the number and I could punch the numbers but then switch away from computer and eal exclusively with customer, I might be able to do phone work. I don't think call centers would be willing to set up that way but maybe in an office setting. Something to think about.

Well, I've got two very interesting books going. I just started the Killing Ground by jack Higgins, we've got forIRA gues, ex soldiers and ex-chechnian rebels as the good guys and Alkida and the Russians headed by Putton as the villians. This is a Sean Dyllon novel so it's got alot of humor. Oh we've also got mobsters as good guys. Then at night I'm reading the Moneychangers by Upton San Claire. I'm reading this for book club but it looks really good so far. Mark has opted once more to put aside his book to read with me. It deals with walstreet greed and excesses in 1907. The more things change the more they stay the same. I think I'll head out and get back in to the adventures of Sean Dyllon until it's time for Ginger and I to go to curves. Oh, we went to a new restaraunt this weekend, The Sunset Diner. It use to be Clocks. It was very good now that the managment has changed. It was good also to have just girls. Mom is also coming out for a visit. I bribed AMark with Porkchops. I know he'd rather she only come if she stays in a hotel but I think he finally gets this is important to me. Well, it'sd back to my book and maybe something cold to drink even if it is cold outside. lol

Current Mood: productive
Current Music: the security alarm for the office and the lab

strange dreams and accomplishments
Just a lot of the usual happening so I won't get in to events very much. The Braille class is going well. We went this weekend to Reverend Carol's installation. That was really good.

The last few days I've had some wild dreams. One was really cool. It involved Mark giving me this electric guitar. I could strum chords at randum and it would shape the tune of any song I was thinking of. Cord and Jack, friends from Jax_chat, one of the lists I'm on and a bunch of other friends were there as well while I was learning how this wonderful guitar worked and I think [Bad username: imafarmgirl/] was there too.

Dream 2 wasn't so good. Indie had gotten out that evening and I guess I was panicing cause we couldn't find him anywhere. I dreamt there was a wild pig in the area and the FBI was launching an investigation as it had killed people so they thought he had killed Indie.

Oh, I think the dream about the guitar which was sky blue came from I was reading CLapton, the Auto-biography at the time.

Indie has figured out how to break out of the bedroom window by pushing in the screen. I am going to see about getting butterfly hooks for securing the screens. I have also started taking him on the padio with me. He has shown no interest in jumping the padio wall when he's escaped to there so we decided maybe we need to show him there is a right way to leave the house and a rong way and out the screen is wrong, out the door, as long as it's only the padio is okay. He's learning when I call it's time to come inside. At least I hope this is going to be consistant. It's interesting as all this time we've thought he was more Mark's cat and we know he responds more to Mark when it comes to discipline. But I seem to be making some progress at getting him to come when called. He got out the front door while I was taking a pizza delivery. Again, when he was called he came back. So who knows. Cats are an inigma.

I've gotten all my music at last in to one folder on my external drive and I am having a ball playing that folder. I got winamp pointed to it and I put it on shuffle and just about anything is likely to come up now. I've also been adding to my collection as I finally found a good copy of Morganna Jones by Kenny Rogers, this was not the version from on the Gambler but rather, was him with the First addition and had more of a bluesy country flavor which I found works much better for that song. It brings out more the edginess that the lyrics suggested a lot better than the somewhat rocked up version from The Gambler did. I also got a copy of a song that hooked me with just one line, Ole Red. I heard that in our friend Joey's car, it had the rather intriguing lyric, "love got me in and love got me out." Joey told me the story the song told and I thought it was too priceless. I laughed my head off. Now, if I could just find some more of that style of country but that's mostly the older stuff that's like that, songs like Bugle Ann and Della and the Dealer that also have that kind of feel. I also picked up ACDC's Big Balls. I absolutely had to have this as someone put it in my head. Now I think of it that was Jack's doing from a discussion that was going on on his list.

I'm going to try and finish catching up the email which got hopelessly out of control as this weekend what with the installation and PUB which was cool, I got way behind. PUB was a demonstration on amature radio that Joe L and Robert who is Angela's husband put on. They are wanting to start a Handyham type thing down here. It sounds like fun. Then I think I'm going back to reading Dance of Death by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child. This is not bedtime reading so I've got Dark Lover by Emily W Liter for my "safe book" The most iolent thing in that book might be a seduction or his bigomy trial. I think I can handle that.

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Blondie, The Tingler

day in a hayse
I should be sleeping. I really should be. I didn't hardly get any sleep last night. I dozed on the couch recovering from some twisted muscles. I got those the night before. I'm overdue for a chair massage I guess. I went to bed thinking I'd surely fall right to sleep. but I was wide awake the better part of the rest of the night. About 5 or 6 I finally fell asleep for real. Actually, even then it was only really a doze too. So I got up with almost no sleep. Not something I recommend. I did still go out to work out. That was good. I got to visit and discuss books with Marcia, the manager of that curves. then I got some meds and then I went to Salarno Pizza. I had my usual, a slice of cheese pizza, salad and a rootbeer. I listened to the updates on the Olympics while I ate and read. I'm rereading the chase by Clyve Cussler. I'm discovering Robert Sans does a 4500 times better job of reading Westerns than the synthetic voice of Samantha. I am forced to ask myself it will be worth renewing my bookshare membership just to get Star Trek books. I mean do I love Star Trek enough to spend $50 a year on it. I know I did once but I'm not sure I still do. I have a few months to mull that one over.

The last couple nights I've been having a lot of fun with Skipe. I yacked with my friend Leslie as well as [Bad username: nicki76/] Sunday night and then this morning Gary and I discussed Stael and my latest battles with her.

She agreed grudgingly to give me an additional 6 hours of mobility instead of the 30 Curt asked for. She in one breath said they only do among other things, basic orientation to the neighborhood. In the next, when I told her we were trying to learn me the route to PUblics and the shopping center down the road so I can walk there with a guide dog, sdhe said that DBS doesn't do that. Pardon me but I thought she just said they did orientation to your neighborhood. Learning the way to that shopping sounds like orienting to the neighborhood to me. Guess in her mind my neighborhood is just the dumpster and the mailbox and the pool if you have one.

One friend suggested that I take advantage of her being on vacation the next couple weeks and go over her head. If I wasn't such a bloody coward I would do that very thing. But I feel like I'm so close to getting in to this training in Orlando, I don't want to risk screwing things up. I wish Bonita would get well and come back to work. She must be close to being well as she was at Ashley's wedding. Curt is going to give me her home email and I will take my issues to her and see what she advises. I suspect that Curt gave her an earful about how Stael's been jerking her clients around at the wedding.

I'm having all kinds of fun with my fantasy league. the last two days I'm putting people on the dl and getting replacements, what fun. Well, it would be but because I'm a bit confused about part of ie and I'm having to arrow through a whole bunch of junk. I've posted on a couple lists and I'm hoping that someone can help me solve this one.

Well, here comes a 4 o'clock storm so guess I'd better close this out.

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: Corry's Comming by Harry Chapain

lazy Saturday
Today's been pretty low key. I just had a couple small chores around the house and then working with my fantasy league thing. I'm doing so badly on that it isn't funny. I'm like 5th in the league which has six teams.

This afternoon I watched Night at the Museum. What a wonderful and funny movie. I'm glad I didn't go with my sister as she never would have been able to describe enough of it for me to fully get it and this was a very visual movie. I had really regretted not getting to go with her and Nicko when I was last home but I see now it worked out for the best. I got my hands on a dvs copy and with the dvs I was able to follow the story perfectly.

I'm back to reading Cityroom by Arthur Gelb. I'm nearing the end of the book but I'm really enjoying it. The author is packing a lot of information in to this book and that is really great. I'm learning so much about the political and culture scene of New York City.

Last night our friends Marianne and Richard came by, I almost forgot about that. They came to help us trim Indie's claws. Since they have sight we figured it would be safest to let them help. Afterward we had snacks. They brought over this wine in a box. I got out some rootbeer so I could drink with them. they also introdduced us to roasted nuts, something I'd read about but never tried, seaweed, which I couldn't stand. I took one bite and knew I couldn't eat more. It tasted llike what I would imagine rope would tast like and that was not good. They also introduced us to split sugar pease. I tried these because I thought with sugar in the name they would tast sweet. They actually tasted salty but they weren't God Aweful. I could eat them if I had to be polite. We invited them to come with us to Shells for dinner but they demurred. Seems Richard finds the cleanliness standards in most restaraunts not up to his standards. This comes from having worked at Coca Cola though I don't get the connection exactly.

It was still nice for us to go. Mark had done some cupon trading at work so we had cupons for a free dinner and a free appetizer. I had their new crab dinner which came with rice and cole slaw and a garden salad. I was way too stuffed to sample their new desert menue. Maybe next time. lol

Current Mood: content
Current Music: Some Velvet Morning by Vanilla Fudge

my vegas trip
I've been away for a while but not a lot to report except my awesome trip to vegas to visit [Bad username: shazza59/]. I had a lot of fun visiting with her and her family. I got to try both The Man's world famous oven baked chicken and pasta. That was really good and Shazza's porkchops cooked as they were meant to be done, with bbq sauce. Now if we could just persuade Mark to let me prepare them that way. lol We went to Star Trek experience. This is suppose to be the last year it's going to be around barring a miracle and last trip I hadn't gotten anything for me. Just a gift for my pal Jowee. But this time I made up for it. I got a drinking tankert perfect for my beer, rootbeer that is, and a key chain both with the Star Trek insignia on them. I think the tankert also had the United Federation of Planets symbol on it. I also got a t-shirt that in bright red letters says "just say no to assimilation." That is the perfect square peggers t-shirt if ever I saw one. lol I got Mark, who is not as in to trek a t-shirt with a picture of a tricorder on it that says scanning for intellegent life. We also honored our tradition of raiding Cold Stone Ice Cream. I had a chocolate devotion. That thing is totally sinful. But I enjoyed it and why not, I was in sin city after all. Monday night we met up with

braillereader and [Bad username: yorkshire_t/] at Lawry's Steakhouse. The food was melt in your mouth good. I had the salmon. Only I would go to a steak place and order the catch of the day. lol Braillereader was different than I expected, more sparkly and bubbly. Like the kind of young sounding person I could see getting taken for ten years younger than she actually is. [Bad username: yorkshire_t/] was a total nut, same as on voice chat. He had us all in stitches. It was fun getting together. [Bad username: :shazza59/"] and the man introduced me to other friends including this one guy Danny who is in the same fantasy baseball league as us and their neighbor who it turns out moved there from the part of Florida where we live or pretty near to it. Talk about your small world. Well, It was totally a wonderful trip. I was sorry to see it end. I took a red eye flight back to west Palm Beach. I got to get through a re-read of Faithful by Stephen King and Stuart O'nan, a book about the 2004 Redsox season but what I needed was sleep.
I had planned on getting that when I got home but there was a hitch in getting to the board of director's meeting at the 20/200 Fellowship that was on for that night and I had to see to that. We had hoped to ride with Jackie and Gary but they were both sick. We did get a ride but the meeting went till ten thirty at night as we had a lot to do. Note to self, never commit to anything the day after flying the Red eye. Then the day after that I had to get up bright and early for Curves and the day after that the same as Micky came to read. We went for pancakes at IHOP so that at least had some good come out of it. But today Thank God I finally got to sleep. So now I'm wide awake at eleven. I need to take my turkey pills and get some sleep so that is what I'll do.

Current Mood: energetic
Current Music: quiet

Easter weekend
This weekend has been pretty good. Yesterday I went for my mobility walk. I procrastinated it as long as I could. I am always just more nervous when it comes to actually going out there without Mark or Curt or someone there to catch me if I screw up the route. It was one thing when I walked inside the complex but out on the highway , you can't make any mistakes Otherwise you're road kill. If I want a dog I need to get beyond this. I got out the door finally when Mark made it seem like it would be hours before he would be ready to go with me knowint it would rain in hours. The sneak, he set me up to deal with it perfectly. lol I did though. Not one single mistake. we won't talk about my heart being in my throate crossing every one of those driveways. It turned out to be a good thing I went when I did. As I turned in to the parkinglot I felt what I thought was a rain drop. I moved from an amble to a brisk trot. I made it back dry burt I wasn't in the house ten minutes before the rain started pouring down.
Mark kicked my butt at Monopoly then we went to dinner at Flannigan's. I had hoped Kate and Joe would go with us but they were staying in that night.
This morning we all four went to a sunrise service which was really beautiful. Well, it was more of a cloudrise service. The weather was raining right up to about an hour before the service.
Yesterday was way busy on skipe, actually this whole weekend was. Friday it went off the hook what with Dana, Gary, Carry and Jim calling me and yesterday I called Kelly and

flcomputergeek didn't talk to anyone today. I slept half the day after we got back from church. Then I didn't realize I had myself set on away. I got some things set up with fantasy baseball and I tried to get my new speakers working but there seems to have been a part missing. This did not amuse me. But I was proud of myself, I picked out the extention for an American outlet from among the four. I had been trying to read Looking Backward by Edward Belamy. But once I realized I was only proceeding because Mark liked the book therefore it had to get better, I decided to let it go as I found the narration too passive and the characters undeveloped however, I loved the premmiss of a eutopian society in this century. I wish. Instead I'm going to start a biography of a blind doctor set in the 1800s. This should be interesting. Just the idea intrigued me. It's written by one of the phisician's descendents to it should have an interesting perspective.I think I'll give it the ultimate test, can I not fall asleep while reading. lol

Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: Mr. Sun Mr. Moon Paul Revere and the Raiders.

Vegas Bound
I'm actually redoing this as I got thrown out of my entry and wasn't sure it posted this morning. So why you might ask, am I going to Vegas after I said I'm not working hard on getting a new job at the moment. Well, OUr commander in chief told us to spend these checks he is sending us and it is right and good to obey our leader's wishes, right? Besides, I happen to want to visit

shazza59 which is reason enough. As a bonis, I get to meet

yorkshiere_tea who is visiting along with

braillereader Three of the our of us are nuts and could be dangerous when congregated in the same place. Shazza better have Mark and the man working on our bail money. lol Well, I'll work on Mark myself. We're talking about Shazza and I hitting Star Trek experience. This time I'm getting something for me. Last time I got a present for Jowee. He really loved that Klingon t-shirt. Don't know what I'd get for me but I'll find something cool I'm sure. We're also looking at going to Strings, an Italian place. She and I should have a blast doing those things together and whatever we do to meet

yorkshire_tea and

braillereader will be fun I'm sure. I think I am really ready for this vacation. I'm probably toing to load on that first book, By Order of the President on my stream for the trip.l That's a huge book. It took four separate links on sendspace to get up there for download. I still need to grab the other parts.
It felt so good today not stressing over looking for a job, it was like this major liberation. Very nice indeed.
Angela and I strategized about the community coach and came up with a plan regarding my job hunt. For now we're going to wait and see first of all if Bonita comes back. Angela may advocate for me at that point. She will look at my plan and see if we need to strengthen it. She told me something appalling. I may have to decide wether I want to walk around or I want to work as rehab only is allowed to spend so much on each client and I could end up having them spend everything on mobility and then if I get a job they'd turn around and say too bad, we can do nothing. That is appalling! You have to decide how independt and in what way you want to be instead of making you as fully independent as you can be. Seems stupid and unfair to me. Oh well.When I rule the world it will be different. lol

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Blondie Background Melody

stepping back
Well I'm stepping back from finding a job. Why the sudden change? What finally got through? Well, it's kind of hard to look for a job when you have no idea how you're going to be able to get to it. Community coach is making bigger cuts. They are only going to run to Indian town 3 days a week and the same for the shuttle to Walmart and such. Friday my trip to Curves got pulled because they are doing medicals only on Fridays. We don't have either blind consumer group to rally and raise cane. but I'm talking to other members of committees. We're going to strategize and I'm going to call my congressman. I hear he's suppose to be receptive. A number of friends have said I'm stressing out on this job hunt so I've decided to just relax and see what comes to me. I know, jobs don't just fall in to ones' lap but actively running after them is stressing me out and depressing me so it's time for a change in course.
I got up too early today on accident but I'm putting the time to good use, I'll work on my memoirs, maybe talk to someone on skipe and call that congressman. I've got mobility today. I also have to decide if I'm going to spend between $32 and $34 to go work out torrow. I will set my future work outs for Thursday as I don't know how long Friday will be medical only. I had first thought it would be just this week but from what Mark said when he scheduled, it's next week too so maybe it is permanent. Let's hurry up and develop those transporters. That would solve everything. lol Beam me to curves Scotty. lol

Current Mood: determined
Current Music: Deborah Harry, If I Had You

vacations and small tornados
I've had an interesting two weeks with Mom visiting. We all went to the Kenedy space center which was totally awesome. I got to feel models of the Saturn 5 rocket, the Lunar Lander and the Lunar Rover and the space shuttle. We saw a reinactment of the events in the firing room when they launched Appolo 8, the first one after the fire that killed 3 astronauts. Mark took a ride on the shuttle simulater. I chickened out fearing it would further damage my hearing.
We shopped and hung out on the beach a lot. I got to swim in the waves and collect a lot of really pretty shells which I have on display in our livingroom.
I got to a Redsox Marlins Spring Training game which was a lot of fun. I got an autographed game ball. Well, it was autographed by one of the Marlins. The Redsox weren't signing, don't know what that was about. I heard different stories. I did get interviewed and was on the news on WPBF channal 25 out of Palm Beach on the 5 o'clock news. I was talking about being able to recite the 1966 Boston line up at age 2. I don't remember this of course but my parents tell me I did it. It was a great visit. Our friend Herb from Cleveland dropped in and I've drafted him to help me with Mark's Christmas present for this year, I know I know, It's only March and I'm thinking of Christmas, but this is just research. I want to get him a nice Braille watch, something that will last another 30 years like his last one. He has a talking watch and he tolerates it but I know he'd really be in seventh heaven if he had a Braille one again. Herb has a jewler friend so we're researching. Mrs. Grynzell, my itinerent teacher from days gone by, that's teacher of the visually impaired for those of you who are a lot younger than me, anyway, she came for a visit. The family has stayed close over the years and she is treated like a second mother, she gets cards and calls and such. She had never met Mark but she told me I had done well for myself. She winters here every year. I can't get over how healthy, sharp of mind and fit she is at her age which is around 80. I can't believe that she's that old actually. Guess this is the reward for staying active in life.
Though the visit was fun, I have discovered something, Mother staying with us more than a week is not probably the best thing. Mom doesn't always know when to bridle her tongue as the song says. Neither Mark nor I do well under the microscope and it seemed every time I turned around she was finding something new to "suggest" and she really got after Mark about his pipe smoking and the fact he's not a real total neatnick, something she's suppose to dispise, that was one of the reasons she dumped hubby number 2, he couldn't except that in to every life the occasional crum or speck of dust or whatever must fall. I finally actually said something my friend Patsy had told me or I made this observation that had only been brought up among those of us who had been there, I asked Mom how she'd like it if I came in to her house and started telling her how to keep it, I think

imafarmgirl and

pawpower4me are starting to rub off on me. lol Mom tried to defend herself by saying she did the same to my sister. She forgot, I would know how that was taken and I reminded her that it was probably not appreciated there either and that Debby was probably blunter in telling her so. lol She is coming for a month or two next year but she is getting her own place. Even she recognizes that would be best.
As to the twister, well, we're not sure yet if it was a small tornado, a microburst, or what could have even been wind sheer but I was right out in the thhick of it. I had left the 20/200 where I'd had computer class it was thundering but that's normal, right? Well, then the rain came and it was so bad there was zero visibility. The driver radioed in and pulled over to the Martin County airport for shelter. We were parked by this building, he left me and this other guy who I had thought ws also working for coach, I'm not so sure about that now as we left him at the airport later but he left him in there with me, he asked him if he wanted to go inside the building while telling me I needed to stay right there. Then he got inside but this guy Joe stayed with me. I didn't mind it so much at first as I knew during a lightning storm a car was a very safe place to be. Well, Then the winds went wild and just a few minutes after Joe had joked he hoped we didn't get tipped over, the van began to rock and it started rocking pretty violently at one point. It felt to me like I was sitting in something no stronger than a Tonka Toy. I was sure at one point we were going to go airborn. I just gripped the little plastic thing on the seat in front of me and prayed. Note to self, I need to buy a worry ball to keep with me for emergencies. Then the hale started. It was like someone had opened up a piggy bank and the hale came piling down with a deafening racket that sounded like the end of the world. I heard later the winds there were clocked at 97 mph. I can believe it and I bet they were higher. I heard later 3 planes had been knocked over and the roof of the building next to where we were parked had blown off. The driver never did explain his actions leaving me in the van, But he seemed to be concerned for my safety so I am reluctant to make waves. When I got home I was still shaken even though I was okay, I was desparate for a tranquilizer and of course, non were in the house, other note to self, see if doctor would prescribe some to keep around for an as needed thing just in case. I took a Tylanol PM as mother suggested, I found out something, Tylanol PM makes a nice Valium or Zanex or whatever substitute. I hope I never see anything like that again or if I do that I'm safe inside my concrete and steel apartment. I know living in Florida I haven't seen the last of these things but I'll feel better in a big sturdy building. But I will add tranquilizers to my emergency kit for sure. Okay, I should let this novel come to an end and get ready to play teacher. This time it's for one of the camp kids. Her Mom's bringing her over so I can show her how the Victor Stream works.

Current Mood: thankful
Current Music: Captain Jack by Billy Joel

work out and strange but interesting dreams
I went to work out today. It proved a spendy trip. There was no coach so I had to take a cab, grad total both ways $32 approximately. Well, what do you do when transportation thinks federal holidays apply to it too. I took some mild and probably justifyable scolding for exposing my cold germs to the rest of the world. But I've been a terrible sick person when left to my own devices I always give myself too little time to convoless. If I'm well enough to think, talk, understand what I can read and communicate, I'm well enough to return to life as usual goes my brain. This is what I've seen so this is what I do. Everyone in my family is the same way.
I don't know what's been going on with my brain, wether it's the moon, hormones, or just all the meds I've been pumping in to kill this cold but I've been having some wapper dreams.
Dream 1, I was in some kind of music class that was in Florida and was outdoors to start out. The teacher turned out to be Jimmy Destri, the keyboard player from Blondie who made a try at a solo career with a brilliant album. So after class I went up to him and asked if I could interview him for my main paper and write about his Heart on a Wall album. He became very defensive and pretty much vitoed the idea. I had just been thinking resently that I wanted to find that cd to play it. Then in the dream the seen switched. I was in a car with my sister and my parents. We were having a huge fight, our parents were strangely quiet and non involved, just conscentrainging on driving like she ordered them while she was waving around a gun and screeching at me. It wasn't clear what we were fighting about but then we were struggling for the bun as she started firing out the window. I was trying to get it away from her.
Dream , I got involved with this research program sponcered by one of the blind consumer groups, maybe it was a coalition of both. But they convinced me that since I had no skills for the modern market but I wished to be productive I should be a parent since I was good with kids. They reminded me this was my strength 2I kept telling them about how my mother and the rest of my family said a child would be too much work. I mentioned Mark and I had decided we didn't want kids, we didn't have the patience and liked our freedom too much. In the next seen we were in the labor room which looked like the field house at my old high school. I had a baby girl which we named Kassandra as a kind of a bit of irony after so many people saying what a disaster a child would be for a blind couple and how much extra work and how people didn't believe I could do it, remember, Kassandra was the prophetess in Troy that noone would believe. In the next seen it was a year later and they were doing a documentary on us. Kassandra had Daddy Mark wrapped around her little finger and we'd adopted an infant boy named Kevin. would never pick that name for a boy. It's not bad but not one I would have chosen.
Dream 3. This was last night. I was living in the house I grew up in in Franklin. The house nextdoor had been converted in to apartments. In one part of the house was Jessie R from square-pegs-society and in another part were my old friends Sean and Lori and in another was

samari76 and my friend Ellen's ex-boyfriend Johnathan. I was hanging out with them listening to the weather and they were forcasting tornados. I wanted stuff from home and the guys kept telling me I couldn't possibly make it back there in time. But Lori and <lj user="samari76/> kept telling me I could certainly do it and the men were being difficult. Jessie R was telling me it was my choice and she would pray for me and to use good cane skills. I got back, then I had my stuff and was trying to find my way back next door and it was starting to thunder. They were telling me the tornado was starting but I was insisting on coming back. I was running and I kept tripping over stuff, I remember one thing was a tree branch. Then I was trying to get up and I woke up. Strange. Well, no cold meds tonight so maybe I'll have normal dreams for a change. At least they weren't nightmares.

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Cool Places by Jane Weedlin and Sparks

back with old friends
Today I stayed home. I didn't think I needed to be working out with this cold. I really don't think I should be working out tomorrow but I can't rearange my coach rideto come home afterschool. So maybe I'll just modify my work out.
Though I stayed close to home, that didn't keep me from attending a book club meeting. This book club is run by the Cleveland Library for the Blind and Physically Handicapped. I knew I'd see my friends Max, Maxiene and Cheryl Fisher, but I was pleasantly surprised to see Carlton and from the crochet gang, Barb, Cheryl, Field, and Willeen. What a treat that was. We were discussing the novelization of Westside Story by Irving Schulman. The conversation went in some interesting directions about things like what did the American dream really mean, hatred born of fear of the unknown and the definition of love. That lead to a discussion of how love means at sixteen something very different than it does at say sixty. It was one of those discussions where Will, the fascilitator had it easy as there was plenty of give and take. Those accessible computers at the library are sure getting used now with the whole sight center gang getting in on things. They've promised to get my email from Gerri and write me. Their main motivation is to help me back in to crocheting but you know, a craft like that is something I need to get busy with anyway so they may be doing me a favor. Though down here knitting seems to be the thing. I'm trying to get such a class like the circle from the sight center going at the fellowship. I know there's at least two people that are knitters, Cheryl L and Katharine. I miss the fellowship that came from those weekly gatherings. It wasn't as much about the work we did as it was about the comradery and that's what I'd like to start here. well, time to consider sleep or maybe some more reading. I'm finding I can't put Rellic down. What a fantastic book. looks like

shazza59 has gotten me a whole new series to be hooked on. lolI really need to get back to my poor bookshare book though. I'll do it tomorrow.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: an airplain going by

I hate colds and my cab interview
I finally got it, the cold Mark brought home from his work. I couldn't go in to school today or I decided it would be advisable not to go in as all I would do was help others to get sick. Not exactly what others would want. I also know I'm not so patient when sick. I missed out on mobility as a result too. That was disappointing. I slept all day or most of it with a little help from tylanolp.m. It works just as well in the a.m. I'm waiting for it to hit me before I go back to bed. Then I must put aside Rellic which is turning out to be a great book. Smithback sort of reminds me of Jimmy Olsen from Superman and Prendergas is a trip,

shazza59 was right, he does have his own deffinite style and way of sticking it to people who are being difficult. Actually, I'd rather keep reading this seen but I never know when another murder's going to pop up so I figure my music files are safer.
I had my interview with the cab company yesterday. I think it went well. Gerry, the gentleman that I met with said it was clear I had given thought to how I would perfom the tasks for the job. He said for me to keep looking in to methods. He also said they are taking applications this week then in two weeks they will begin calling people back for second interviews. He also said he thought I had a good voice for dispatch work. I saw non of the "oh s**t, she's blind," reaction that sometimes happens in interviews when I do as I did this time and don't disclose the blindness till I'm right in front of them. So maybe down here that tactic will work better.
One other cool thing yesterday, I found my Curse of Blondie cd, the one I was desparately looking for for the talent show. It was sure enough in the one box I was sure I couldn't possibly be in. Note to self, ,I really need to label those cds, it will save a lot of headaches. I'm now making up for lost time. But I had really rather done Rules for Living, End to end and Songs of love. At least all of those are actually in my range. Okay, maybe Songs of love is pushing it just a little bit but I've really wanted to do those songs. While I was pleased enough with what I did, I really had had my heart set on the others. Well, the tylanol should be setting in pretty soon. I want to take a peak at the NLS download site in case there might be one thing more I want. I want to see if they were just late adding books from yesterday of if they didn't have anything ready.

Current Mood: drained
Current Music: Undone by Blondie

the rest of the story and job ottomism
Life is going good today, I've been thinking about things on the job front and there is certainly reason to feel hopeful. But I'll get to that in a moment. The thunderstorm last night which turned out to be a nothing cut in to my story.
So I was on my way in the cab yesterday for lunch and getting meds. I happened to somehow find a way to naturally ask if the cab company was hiring dispatchers. Well, that fcompany wasn't, they do dispatch from right out of the cab. But this driver also worked part time for Yellow and he knew they were opening a dispatch center. He gave me the name of the person to talk to and told me when to call so as not to get this guy's secretary. But best of all, he told me to use his name. In this town, having a name can make a whole lot of difference. You get further when you cn say Joe sent me so to speak. I noticed that with my volunteering at the school. When I approached them on my own I seemed to be going nowhere fast. Once Curt entered things on my behalf, suddenly, things came together very fast. Tomorrow I'm calling that cab company. Charlotte, in describing how to work on another job gave me an idea how I could use my Braille sense for this job. My other friend Jan said I could make a cheat sheet in Braille or in word and keep that on my Braille sense as well. She also suggested I could ask for a phone with adjustable volume as a reasonable accomodation. So we'll see what happens.
I was also thinking if I don't get this, I have the school to volunteer at, but Bonita's idea to volunteer in the Chamber of commerce on a regular basis doesn't seem like it will amount to anything as they hire college kids as interns to do most of that kind of work. However, I figured out how I can nget some other volunteer work in and fit it in with similar transportation patterns so it shouldn't be a problem for Coach. I learned St. Luke's runs a consignment shop in the shopping center where Curves is located. I could go to the school in the morning, then come back to that plazza and work out, maybe snag lunch and then walk around the other side and volunteer a couple 3 hours a few days a week at the consignment shop and have Coach get me there instead of at Curves. Yes this is retail and hardly related to reception or working in the schools. But you never know when the person you are speaking with or waiting on is someone that either is part of human resources or knows someone. It's getting me meeting more people. I now know one woman that works out at Curves around the same time as me works for one of the local blood labs. I might ask next time I'm talking to her if that lab is hiring. I think I may be crawling out of my shell. That's always been a hard thing, learning to ask people about jobs. I can ask them with no trouble to guide me or to help me cross a street, but I feel like I have to spend a certain amount of time getting to know a person before it's appropriate to ask them if their company is hiring or if they know someone who can help me. I was talking with my sister today and you know, I'm convinced that it's an upbringing thing.. She was saying that yes indeed, one should get to know a person for a few months before asking for help with employment. She didn't say how one was suppose to make a living or maintain their dignity. Then again, she's got a nice job. My sister and I come from different worlds though. She also doesn't truly believe you can have true friends on the internet. I was talking to my friend Kelly from a book group who added me to skipe and when I told her I knew her from the net, her tone became very dismissive. Oh, I wish my sister would go blind so her world view could be expanded. Enough bad. Mark is finally moving, this must mean he's feeling better. He got hit with that cold thing and has been out flat all day. I'm going to hang with him now.

Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: The Doors Ships with Sails

the roller coaster of life
Tuesday was a perfectly horrible day, the kind that just makes you want to stay in bed, you know.But I did have some good moments like my work out and computer class. But I could have done without the great chase all over town looking for a vampire site to get some blood taken. The stupid doctor sent me to a lab that they knew was closed then suggested I could just hop over to Port St. Lucie which is a half hour away. I don't even want to think what a cab ride there would cost. I eventually got to go to the lab at the doctor office. Then I got home to find out that my rent hadn't made it to the property manager. Plus there was a bill collector looking for the people that use to have this number. The rent turned up yesterday. We have no idea what happened but we weren't penalized for it. Yesterday looked like it was going to be a continuation of this mess. Thenthe day started improving. Did some things to look for work, and worked at the school. I didn't have as long a session with Lizzy because Coach was late but she did really good with me finding two of each coin for me. Saw Jaimie, her Mom leaving as I arived. I'm guessing she was there to help with the tornado drill I mannaged to just miss.
Today I went on a med run to CVS. I could have had Mark do this for me yesterday Well, I'll have to tell the story later thunder.

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: The Doors Variety

life in the grate outdoors
The last few days I have just felt compelled to be outside. I've spent every free moment I could in the court yard with my books. I think After thursday and Friday I finally just crashed. Thursday I got my nails done then Gary came here to do my computer training. Then I went out that night with Mark and a lot of the proofreading staff. Joe, Kate, Kathy, her husband Mark, and Roxanne were all there. We went to Chille's. They just opened one.
Friday I went over to the school. Mark and I both had Coach rides for about the same time so the driver decided to do something sensible and get us at the same time. I got there a bit later than planned. Lizzy was doing really well I thought. Though we weren't doing our usual stuff she remembered that when I come we work on Braille and with the money. that's progress. But she still doesn't want to work on tracking with me. When I tried to get her to do it she started misbehaving.

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The last few days I have just felt compelled to be outside. I've spent every free moment I could in the court yard with my books. I think After thursday and Friday I finally just crashed. Thursday I got my nails done then Gary came here to do my computer training. Then I went out that night with Mark and a lot of the proofreading staff. Joe, Kate, Kathy, her husband Mark, and Roxanne were all there. We went to Chille's. They just opened one.
Friday I went over to the school. Mark and I both had Coach rides for about the same time so the driver decided to do something sensible and get us at the same time. I got there a bit later than planned. Lizzy was doing really well I thought. Though we weren't doing our usual stuff she remembered that when I come we work on Braille and with the money. that's progress. But she still doesn't want to work on tracking with me. When I tried to get her to do it she started misbehaving. <lj-user"shazza59" gave me some ideas on how to handle that and things to discuss with her aide. We'll see how that goes.
I went to Curves and that started it. Afterward I decided to go to Mr. Bread for lunch. I got a nice sandwich and decided rather than sitting in the shop, I'd sit out on the sidewalk in the sunshine. I took out my stream and got involved with reading Red Lightning which was getting toward the end. I can never put it down when it gets to that part. I went out when I got home and finished it.
Yesterday I just crashed but I sat out in the evening and had a great chat with <lj-user"samari76"> and then Mark and I just sat up talking. He went to A concert with other people from his work. I was invited but I just wasn't in the mood to go along. Besides, Christian music isn't really my think. Singing in the gospel choir was one thing but going to a concert is another.
Today we both took our books outside. I finished readinga novelization of Westside Story. This was actually more powerful than the movie or the play. I then decided to start reading The Mercury 13 by Margaret Ackman. this looks like it will be good.
My penpal notice for e-pals appeared in the Matilda Ziegler and I have already started to get responses. I should now have a good bit more personal correspondence. I wrote to one other friend Kelley who I saw advertising himself. I heard to my surprise from Eric C. I never thought he or Kelley would have joined the internet world. I had to think about writing Eric but I decided if I was truly past all the grudges and grievances and dramas I had been in when I was taping, part of that would be speaking to Eric C. Perhaps we'd all changed I figures. But it's neat to start hearinf from people, I heard from another person I'd never met named Jim. He told me about his wife and daughter. I did make it clear I'm looking for friends so I should only hear from normal people. It's curious how many people from my past are coming back in to my life. I also got back in touch with my friend Bonnie and it looks like I'm getting her and Joe A back in touch.
I'm hoping to get more time outside tomorrow after school too.
Well, I'd better get back to my fellow football widows who are hanging out on the net until the Super Bowl is over and it's safe to come out from under our rocks. Yay! baseball season is almost here and I may well get to go to a spring training game with the Marlins and Redsox! Life is truly good.

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Where Do You Go to My Lovely, John Sarstad

ready to drop!
What a seriously busy day. I went over to Curves. I took paradise taxi since with not going in to school I lost my coach ride over there. At least this cab company has a reduced fare for the blind. the work out went well. I still felt pain afterward but not as much. I'm such a weekling. Note to self, better get those shoulders in shape before time for dog training or you're going to be in bigtime trouble.
Got back to find out I had to try and do the transportation shuffle as Ginger isn't able to run me over to Braille after all as she and George have to get dinner and get over to bible study.
I did make work inquireries at Braille for working in the bindery. They don't have opening now, of course. But I'm welcome to put in an application as when those openings do come up, she looks at the applications she has in house first. This is Rhoda that I spoke to. I heard from Bonita and it turned out she had talked to Jamie and found out the same thing, well, the not hiring part. Sometimes this can be just so discouraging.
I went on my mobility walk. Made two small misteaks but corrected for them with minimal fuss. The funny thing was, they weren't while I was down on the sidewalk but while I was crossing our driveway. But I got myself out of the whole which is important. One of the misteaks was actually very instructive as it cleared up for me another more serious mistake I'd made weeks ago while learning my way to the chamber of commerce. Instructive mistakes I don't mind as much, well, I don't like them but I find I get something out of them at least. So they're easier to swallow.
Got to skipe chate with Dana, and Gary this afternoon which was good. Gary helped me figure out how to answer the phone and Dana and I just shot the breeze, I was able to explain a few things about email to him. He had thought he hadn't gotten something I'd sent him but it turned out he had. He told me there's a new version of winamp. Note to self, think about going looking for it.
But what with the walking and the work out I'm so ready to drop. I'm just waiting for my stream to finish charging then I'm going to find a quiet corner and read I think. I finished Rhett Buttler's people. Man what a book! I really loved it but will wait to get a keeper copy until NLS does it with a nice human narrator. Now I'm starting another book from bookshare, The Chase by Clyve Cussler. This is a departure for him, a particularly nasty bank robber and a lawman sent to bring him down and a game of cat and mouse in the early 20 century. this would be back when most men still road everywhere on horseback, trains rean by steam power, and some of our southwestern states weren't even in the union yet. This ought to be fun.

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: the tv in the next room

on the job hunt
Today I went to the chamber of commerce to help stuff welcom packets. There were a lot of people there. I did the route completely perfect. Not a single mistake other than a slight veer while crossing over but I corrected remembering whre the shoreline was suppose to be. I had a talk with Jayme, the woman who organized things. She asked me to send her my resume which I did. She will forward it to her office manager as well as other people on her contact list where might be appropriate. This is a foot in the door.
Today I accomplished another goal. I managed to connect with my old friend from guide dog school Dana, I think he may be on skipe which I'm also definitely got signed up to with some small help from Gary and <lj-user"flcomputergeek" have been helping me learn. It's a neat little program. But I got another lead and did get to talk to Dana at the lighthouse for the blind in New York. I'm hoping to see if he can tell me where I can get his book Tommorrow's Yesterday. It promises to be way cool. From what I read about it, he had a more interesting youth than he ever let on when we were at GEB. Turns out he was going to call me at my Albuquerque number which wasn't even my last number from there but I told him I had a new one. He gave me his home number and I left mine there. Apparently, he isn't loading himself down with accessible toys for taking numbers. lol I should hear from him this afternoon. I'm not doing a lot job wise today but I felt like I needed today and I did do some. stuff what with getting a resume to Jayme. I have mobility today and was suppose to go shopping with Jackie but since Gary didn't have students they didn't come out here. That's probably okay because this day threatened to be too packed. I'm probably starting to move in to the level of hectic activity where I have to watch myself to prevent over extending and stressing out. Besides, Bonita says I need to be kind to myself in this market.

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Rebba Macintire, the Night the Lights went Out in Georgia

new places to read
Today had to do a med run. So after I picked up the meds plus restocked my Head On and picked up some Active On to try for my ankle when we get more rain, I decided I didn't feel like just reading out in the courtyard or the padio. So I took myself and my stream down to Starbucks. Was going to have a chocolate moca latte but then chickened out and had hot chocolate instead. I also had a brownie. I had my snack while I read Born in Death. I'm re-reading it, this time, the NLS version. Martha Harmon Pardee is a much better narrator than Susan Ericson, at least in my opinion.
I also tried out a new cab company, Paradise Taxi. I have to say, I like what I'm seeing so far. Among other things, they offer a senior discount. I've passed them on as a resource to the 20/200 Fellowship. It sounds like they had a fun activity day up there with the kids. I'd have liked to be there but that's a pretty costly ride no matter how you slice it.
You'd think after such a powerful drink as that hot chocolate, I'd be wide awake but I'm feeling really tired. I think this may be from other things. Too bad as I really want to go up to for-the-people tonight, they're running Missippi Burning at 7 p.m in the theater room and I really want to catch it. I couldn't find anyone to go with me when it was at the movies or it seems like that's my memory of it. I did have a chat with Mom today. That was nice. It's hard because I keep forgetting I can't really have intelectual conversations with her or political ones beyond the superficial. She was saying I don't function the way normal people do, that I anylize too much. I don't get that, shouldn't everyone look for the subtext in things. I mean a lot of the times it's pretty close to the surface. Have people drifted that far away from truly considering things from all angles? What a sad thing. I have to believe if we thought more about our actions and choices and attitudes, we might be able to fix a lot of what's wrong with this world. I really have the belief we have the potential to do more and to be better people than we are allowing ourselves to be.
A thought about the small pockets of progress we've accomplished in social reform as we end our celebration of Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday. My nephew was once again awarded the privelige of having lunch with the school principal in the character building program at his school. Kids get so many points for doing different things. How did he get enough points to earn this most covetted honor, the other day during all the rain when they had indoor recess he went in to the special needs classroom. When the teacher asked him why he was there he said he came to play with his friends. The teacher promptly gave him more character points. He doesn't understand why he should be rewarded for playing with his friends, the thing everyone does. I hope what he really thinks is silly is that other kids wouldn't choose these kids for friends. I don't think he understands that that's what sets his action apart. But if there were more kids like Nicko, then the vision Dr. King had of all children of all kinds and from all walks of life would be closer to fulfillment. f

Current Mood: drained
Current Music: wind outside the window

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